i seriously dnt know what am i doing or thinking nowadays...
haiz.. love really really really suck and hurt and pain ...
i dnt know what i am thinking, what nonsense i am talking ...
its like a total alien kind of feeling...
sometimes i think of it and sometimes i dont...
the thing is, some say that i am falling in love whereas i myself dont know..
is losing a person's company means that u are falling in love?
is missing a person's presence, means that u are falling in love?
is thinking about that person means that u are falling in love?
i mean what the hell is wrong, if i miss someone ?? it doesnt mean that i like or love him ??
why is it so easy to let a stranger know how u feel and not your loved ones??
why is it so easy to find someone and talk to them, for hours and hours and never let them go?
why is it so hard to say goodbye to a person whom u dont really want to go ??
i mean what the hell is wrong with me??
i'm sure i wasnt like this before..
being expose to the world outside, brought me to this stand, this weird sort of thinking i think..
i feel like banging my head on the wall...
i hardly use to care about anything..
its like i take it as it comes and goes..
but now, every step taken, muz be taken seriously...
problems problems and problems...
which jerk doesnt have problems??
i'm seriously dead confused...
this new york dude i met online... its kinda cool, and its like we both have the same type of thinking..
we click off well and know each other for a week but our earlier conversation lasted about 3 hours ...
and it felt like we meet earlier before.. way before...
it seems like he knows who i am... and there was like a kind of connection ...
i dnt know how to express... but its so great and fun to talk with him, that i was kinda reluctant not to say bye...
i mean what am i suppose to do ??
once u start to like a person's presence, its hard to let it go..
to think on a positive side, its all part of growing up...
frankly speaking, i'm running away fm this..
when it comes to this matter, its like i follow my mind, not my heart...
i hate having relations, for one reason is that i have to live in the dark, a secret life.. which i seriously cant do it... i love to be open minded ... and the other reason is that it is juz not the time for me now...
is not wrong to stop a person fm liking u isit???
its not even feb 14, and its spreading like a virus..
u dont know where and when it will strike...
i think, me staying at home and going out has seriously made me go bonkers..
too much of the world outside, is really scary..
i dont mind being loved, i mean its nice to have someone love u rite.. its a great feeling.. but to love someone???
haha..
tat really hurts ...
cuz that depends if u really can trust a person or not....
trust, is a very hard thing to do, it takes a day to break a person's trust and it takes a lifetime to gain back...
simple word like love has seriously created lots of troubles and problems in people's life...
yep its true for sure... i wonder how many went through and survive...
for me, love is like fighting for survival...
yeah, survival, the driven force in life... haha..
tension is on the rise and there is no medication for this disease...
results going to be out soon... friends problems ... life problems ... some more what else ???
its really nuts.. today's entry muz be in fact super long and ya full of i dont know what i am thinking...
rather confused ... but i hope i can clear my mind soon enough and get back to my normal routine...
freaky man ... in love ?? shucks .............................................
